south africaaa (edited from an assignment)

"Still or sparkling?”

At every single restaurant, the waiter or waitress asked us this question. While it isn’t particularly uncommon thing to provide the option of water, I was kind of intrigued that there weren’t places that didn’t offer the option.

I actually found many of my encounters with locals that were working at restaurants and hotels, AKA for tourists, to be very formal with treating us like royalty. From the moment I stepped off of the ship it seemed that everyone wanted to take care of us- for example, our first hotel packed breakfast on day 2 upon our departure. What really blew me away, however, was Tswalu Reserve, our resort for a three-day safari.

“We want you to feel like you’re family” was one of the first things we were told on day 1. As the staff showed us around, they pointed our refrigerators of wine and a fully-stocked bar that we had unlimited, self-service access to if a staff member wasn’t there. They showed us the restaurant that was all-inclusive, so we never saw a bill, AND they knew to give me my own pescatarian menu that they had asked about 9 whole months earlier, when my mother booked the trip. We had giant rooms that they fixed up for us twice a day- cleaning it in the evening and letting down the mosquito-net canopy, which draped over the four sides of the bed, and cleaning it in the morning, tying up the nets to open up the bed. Our snack bar was fully stocked and free of charge- including the bottles of red wine and bags full of nuts. We were also given food and beverages on our safaris: tins full of snacks half-way through each drive, and coffee/tea during the morning drive or beer/wine/drinks in the evening.

It was as if little fairies were waving wands everywhere to put everything together so flawlessly, that there was no “behind the scenes” setup. Everything was ready. Yet when I started paying closer attention, I realized that I had tuned out the other languages that the staff spoke to each other. They were setting things up and making it happen right in front of us, my ears just forgot to be aware that another language was being spoken.

As an aspiring event planner, not only do I appreciate the set up process but I also understand the different closeness people feel towards each other when they work as a team in that way. It was visible that the staff are extremely close with other another, acting like the ‘family' that they verbally invited us to join. It just seemed to be all too perfect without all the behind the scenes ’stuff' that I am always so attentive and appreciative of.

The fact that language was what prevented me from breaking down the barrier and feeling like family kind of bothered me. In class today someone mentioned that while language can be in-clusive, it can also be very ex-clusive. This must be really difficult for people in a country where 11 different languages are officially recognized. My class learned about coding switching, when people speak in different languages with different people, which happens for several reasons: to accommodate others, to exclude others, or to articulate part of their cultural identity. Yet I had the opposite experience where they were code switching to exclude us in order to accommodate us…and it was odd to me. It almost felt the nail salon when the woman painting my nails and her coworker exchange comments in another language for like, three full, long minutes, only for her to say in English that her coworker said I’m pretty. We all know what they were really saying-well, at the least we just know that it’s for sure NOT what she actually said.

Anyway, the staff did a phenomenal job at taking care of us- but I felt like I was being pampered (which is a feeling foreign to me at this point). But there was a barrier between us for sure, and I couldn’t get passed it. We were all friendly and in good humor with each other, but it still felt like service to client to me, all because this language thing was distracting.

As someone hypersensitive to difference (after the past 3 months), it’s easy to see similarities- but it’s also extremely difficult to ignore differences. With all 11 languages officially recognized in the country, does that mean this feeling is common? The national anthem includes verses in most of the 11 languages; while everyone knows the words, not everyone knows what each verse translates to. Imagine not knowing what you’re specifically singing about in your own anthem? So, do other South Africans experience this same detachment? Is this the root of the divide between South Africans? In a country freshly overcoming apartheid, a reconciliation of unity and difference is far more complicated than I can even fathom.